ALRIGHT.

apart from the drama, today's training is fine.
came home, shagged. very very tired.
there's still lessons tomorrow, bye.

Day 71 baby.
If you spent the whole day planting seeds, waiting for the rain to come but to no avail, your efforts are wasted.
But if you spent your life loving someone so deeply and meaningfully, but eventually had to give it all up, your efforts are definitely not wasted.
Because to the minimal, you experienced to love someone deeply.

Do not let the fire go out.
Spark by a replaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all.
Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved but never been able to reach.
And we must take the current when it serves, or lose the ventures before us.

Sometimes, goodbye is a second chance.

( 3B CLASS BBQ 071109 )

tonned with alvin at east coast yesterday.
going out for training now.

hate darlie, hate darlie.
why is your ego just so freaking huge?
backstabber.
POP and class bbq pictures coming up tonight.

Day 71.

alright, back home from class bbq.
supposed to meet shijie, sheena and jingyi at cck control station at 330 and meet ms thng at her condo at 4. okay, i set the time at 330 cause i totally expected ALL of them to be late. okay, so about 335, i reached. sheena and jingyi also reached, but where's shijie?!?!?!?!!
SHIJIE REACHED AT 355! YAY!
okay, then when we wanted to board the train already, sheena went to accompany jingyi to withdraw money, while me and shijie waited for them at the control station. then, sheena suddenly say that jingyi got no money, and they wanted to go home! AHHH. okay, in the end me and shijie sian diao. LOL. then when we called jingyi, she said she was already at the bus interchange waiting for the bus. if shijie wanted to persuade her again, he had to go there. so, shijie went there while i waited for him at the control station area.
after that, two crazy women, specifically sheena and jingyi, ran towards me from the LRT area and we went up to the platform. LOL. Shijie obviously got owned!
then, sheena and jingyi boarded the next train to bukit gombak first. i called shijie and told him that sheena and jingyi, GIVE UP LO!
okay. then me and shijie headed to gombak, saw sheena at the mrt station waiting for us.
then shijie's question was, "WHERE'S JINGYI!"
okay. then me and sheena wanted to go to the toilet. then after that, jingyi went out of the toilet to meet shijie. lol, he seriously super cui. then after that, i went out of the toilet. "SHEENA SHITTING." okay lor, wait lor. then, when shijie was ranting, sheena came out and splash water at him. okay, huge huge joke okay.

then, reached ms thng's house, waiting for the food to come. at 540, me and shijie went to bukit gombak mrt to fetch the others. then, the bbq started.
well, i had to say i did not crap much cause i was pretty much walking around, doing work. so, yeah. after that, when the food was finishing, everyone started to high already. i didn't have any good laughs cause i just did not have the mood to.
i have to apologise to all lah, i wasn't myself today. there was alot on my mind.
then me and ms thng packed up, then we sat together to play zhong zi mi ma again. it was fun lah, but still i was very quiet. yeah.
then after that, packed up and we went back..
at first, jingyi and shijie and me wanted to go lot 1 play arcade/watch movie. in the end, cui. all went home. then, me, shijie and perry cabbed home lor.
so here i am now, all bathed and clean, typing out this post. yeah.

seriously lor, i don't like darlie. darlie is an idiot, seriously.. he just literally very idiotic in every way, no other way to describe him already.
wanna know who's darlie? ask me lor.

still, i'm very excited for class clique chalet, really.
can't wait to see my lovelies in kiddy pj's playing mahjong.

Day 68
i just hope that you're having tons of fun now.
i'm like willing to exchange my chance of getting high, just to know that you're having fun and taking care of yourself.
cui, this has so gotta go.

shawn, 
you say you will think of how i feel from that incident onwards.
and what happened today again huh? 
i really really hope that you can put yourself in my shoes okay.
rahh, think through think through alright! 

Hello my little children, that thing below can click okay.

( It does not matter. )

alright.
apologies for not posting yesterday.
i went out with casper and kamho for pool and dinner, then when i came back, all the drama stepped in.
rawr. i had fun yesterday though.

as for today, lessons started at 10 but i reached at 10.20 cause i woke up at like, 9.40 and there were no cabs at all, (irritating).
mathed, then ss, then went home. changed up to go for debbie and james' POP. it was really really really really really really really fun. all the screaming and all.
after that, went back with farhana and awal. met alvin at lot one and had mos burger. i didn't eat anything, cause i was paranoid and stressed up and worried and concerned. sigh.
(i'm hungry now, someone feed me!)
talked talked with alvin till about 9, then we went up to the arcade for some datona. played till about 1015, then we went back home.


luckily, i made the final decision of not wearing the jacket out. the weather almost killed.

Day 67
siao liaozxzxz,
gonna miss you like crazy.
regardless of what, go enjoy and have the time of your life.
:D

Okay.


SHINGZ!

lol, new word in the block baby! hahahahaha.
so today, lessons, then had training. then went home.
okay, boring cause i never elaborate.
HAHAHAHA, oh yes, happy birthday to sixian! :D

lessons tomorrow.
meeting weiling, afiqah and sixian for badminton tomorrow.
meeting kamho for outing.
rawr.



learn to heck care
you, just know me too well to the extent that even though i just keep quiet, you know what's on my mind!
that's not a good thing!

my sister just went "i've got sentosa cove!"
and i literally went O.O for 2 seconds. LOL, okay.
then, she started laughing till peng.

Day 65
cause you're the BOOMZ and not the SHINGZ.
just that special to me.

life stinks, honestly.
being cramped between problems of different people from different walks of life.
i'm finally tired of all the crap that i'm receiving.
i'm tired of being tangled within all of your lives.
i just feel like giving up now, but i just can't.
cause these are just everything that my life revolves around.
my friends. my team.
interal quarrels, what have gotten into us?
we're letting our outside world intrude our relationship.
i love you all so much. that no matter what, i'm holding on to our bond very strongly.
cause you guys mean so much to me.
i'm so tired, i'm so drained, i'm so sick of getting all the crap back, but i'm not going to give up just yet. it's just not right.
regardless of all the problems now, we've got to face them, not to escape. because it just makes the whole situation worse.
i'm giving all in to all of you, cause i want to take my step in making everything better.
i'm giving you all the best, cause i want the best for you.
i don't want anything back, i just want all of us to be happy together.
rahh. i just want all of us to be together, like how we were.
i hope all these drama did not exist. i wish i did not break down now.
i want to hold on, and i hope all of you will too.

i've come to a point where my positives have been taken huge advantage of.
where people take everything from me for granted.
i always ask God for much strength, to break the boundary.
but i guess God wanted me to take a break too.
but physically, i don't want to, cause i am not done with what i started out with.

i am really really really really lost now.
i don't know what i am doing everything for, but i know i have to.
sigh.

Day 64
it's the 64th day.
life went on without you.
now, i've reached my limits.
i wished so much that you were there to hold me on, but i lost everything.
now, it's officially everything.
i wish, i so wish that you were still there supporting me.
what changed?
I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow and watched the stars crashed into the sea.
If only i could know, 
why aren't you here with me?

To make anxious overtures and often undue concessions to satisfy the demands of someone.

okay i just got back home from lessons.
super tired today, was sleeping in class.
thanks to yesterday's drama.
but it's still not over, sigh.

just now as i was walking pass the poolside, i saw this old couple, who are roughly like 70-80 years old, holding hands, chatting and laughing as they walk.
then i immediately told myself, "wow".
love is this powerful, when it's true.

ms thng was being crappy today.
love is blind, and so are you.
i will so remember that -.-

crapping after lessons today.
work done by me and sheena.


going out to training now.

Day 64
so am i really blind?
i should just carry on with life.

Day 63

It's funny how my heart just won't let it go.
I just don't understand.
It's crazy how the pain seems to overflow.
The memories of you here with me by my side,
I can't deny that you are the love of my life.

And even if I cried a thousand tears tonight,
would you come back to me.
And even if I walked on the water,
would you come out to sea?
Now I can't spend my life standing by,
cause even when I miss you,
You're still not missing me.

And I still cry for you.
And I would die for you.
I can't believe all the words I heard you say.
And I still long for you.
And I was strong for you.
I can't believe that you'd throw it all away.

alright. happy 1nov people. hmm, stayed at home till about 3 today. went out to bukit timah to pool with shirlynn and alvin again.
saw irfan and clique and red hoodie today.
:D

pooled from about 4 to 6 plus.
headed to lot one for dinner at sakae.
fun fun! full plus zhong zi mi ma.
loser eat wasabi + sauce thing plus the pink thing. eew.
then we went home! okay, simple but very fun.

currently watching this show, My Sweet Seoul.
it's about this younger guy liking this older woman, very good show!
LOL.

i wish there wasn't intensive for sec 3s! ))))):
lessons are starting again when we're like getting nocturnal. LOL.
night safari pictures coming up on next post!

class bbq, class chalet, badminton camp, badminton chalet.
here come's the work.
):

Day 62.
wow, it's been more than two months now.
rahh, why am i still clinging!

woke up at 10 today, packed my room. it's so much neater now!
went out at 12 to meet weiwei to go to town.
went to Yonex in Far East to look for the jersey for next year. many nice designs in the lady's collection, but we had to choose from the male one. very big and rawr, only got one nice one, so we took that one lor.
after that, went down to have our lunch, then cabbed back.
i cabbed to bukit panjang, and she cabbed home i think.
then lrt-ed to segar to meet elayne, shirlynn and alvin to go surprise huiting.
it was a huge success, yay!
then after that, went to beauty world for pool.
elayne went home, huiting came back to find us and we headed to night safari.
night safari was awesome, but i'm too lazy to elaborate.
RAWR HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

alright, happy birthday to huiting my darling! hahaha.
it's like 1dec now, time sure flies. we're going to be in sec 4 soon!

Day 61
I'll do anything and everything for you.
Do you know that, Mr Dont-Know-How-I-Feel?

caught This Is It at lot one yesterday at 930pm.
awesomest show everr!
Rated 4.9/5 okay.
Minus 0.1 cause the songs just keep reminding me of you.

today's very mad. LOL.
went out with ALVIN and SHIRLYNN!
First, Iluma to arcade! OUTRUN! and the bunny game and basketball and HIGH.
then, went to buy stuffff hehehehehehehe.
THEN! (tried to get jennifer's body) LOL.
THEN!
CABBED DOWN TO BEAUTY WORLD at about 6pm. LOL.
for pool lah, haha, saw irfan and clique @.@
YUAN FEN OKAY LOL.
pooled, laughed, till about 8.
bused back to lot one, reached about 9pm. subway for dinner, LAUGH AND LAUGH AND LAUGH OMG HIGH STUFF.
shall not elaborate. LOL.

I'm tired of being cause in the tangle of your love life.
ever thought of how i felt? what has happened to us?

gonna sleep early tonight.
town + pool + undercover activities tomorrow! CAN'T WAIT!
luv clique as much as i luv _____ okay.
THAT IS ALOT!

Day 60.
The perfect words never cross my mind,
cause there was nothing in there but you.
I felt every ounce of me screaming out,
but the sound was trapped deep in me.

All I wanted just sped right past me,
but I was rooted fast to the Earth.
I could be stuck here for a thousand years,
without your arms to drag me out.

In the confusion and the aftermath,
you are my signal fire.
The only resolution and the only joy,
is the faint spark of forgiveness in your eyes.

Hold me close, cause I'll need you to guide me to safety.
will you?

my mum's killing me.

4-8th dec - holiday.
8-10 dec - camp.

lets see.
supposedly, the holiday trip was supposed to be for my sister and her friends.
then, since my sister's friend's mother was going, my mother couldn't calm herself down and wanted to go to.
and now, she's dragging me down the drain.
what has it gotta do with me?
i don't even know those strangers, how am i supposed to enjoy myself on this "holiday"?
since you agreed to go with sis, then follow their itinerary. don't do your own more-expensive plans. go with the flow. don't like it? then don't go, that's very simple.
you don't have to drag me down with you, you know.

i was this close to giving in to you, but i'm not going to.
i'm your daughter, not your robot.
this is rude, but you know what i meant.

Day 59
just this close to messaging you,
'darl, my mum's making noises again!'
when you'll always make me feel better when i quarrel with my mum.
sigh, i wish it didn't have to go away.

i think my husband looks very cute! haha.
i love 3b, i really really do.
looking forward to class bbq and chalet! (L)
alright, going for dinner/movie with BOSSS!

Day 59
stare, fight, repeat.
i need you like the oceans need the tide.

playing games with nat is fun.
i hope his "plan" works out.

just for laughs.

me: i must dig into your brains to know your plan.
nat: sure not? my brain very jikopeh one leh.
me: huh? then how? where's your non-jikopeh brain?
nat: you find lor.
me: cannot find leh. exist or not ah?
LOL.

i forgot that tomorrow's the last day of school.
i'm not going to see him for the next two months of my life.
OH MY GOD!
))))))))))))))))))));

high during cultural fiesta, tired during recess, bored during principal's speech, sighhh during training.

you. never. knew.
Day 58

alright, short post today.
had training, then sat down and talked to my juniors again.
i'm getting lifeless once again, sigh.
Day 57.

after building up myself for so long, all of a sudden, i'm falling to the end of the hole again. why?

its 4.11am in the morning now and i'm going to sleep now.
nights to all.
Day 57 today.

怎么隐藏　我的悲伤　失去你的地方
你的发香　散得匆忙　我已经跟不上

闭上眼睛　还能看见　你离去的痕迹
在月光下　一直找寻　那想念的身影

如果说分手　是苦痛　的起点
那在终点之前　我愿意再爱一遍
想要对你说的　不敢说的爱
会不会有人可以明白

我会发着呆　然后忘记你　接着紧紧闭上眼
想着那一天　会有人代替　让我不再想念你
我会发着呆　然后微微笑　接着紧紧闭上眼
又想了一遍　你温柔的脸　在我忘记之前

心里的眼泪　模糊了视线　你已快看不见

caught imagine that yesterday, 920pm show.
that show's goooood stuff lah! hahahaha. super funny.
walking around courts was even funnier.
high stuff. HAHA.
after movie, sat at mac till 12.10am then went home.
went home to.........PLAY MAHJONG!
k. then slept at about 2.30. tired stuff. LOL.

woke up at about noon today. heheheh!
stayed at home for the whole day today doing nothing.
just walk walk around the house, watch tv, computer, sleep.
in the end, slept from 6 to 8 plus.
woke up when i dreamt of you wearing the red hoodie.
wah damn nice.
and now, i still don't know what to do, BUT I'M VERY HAPPY LOL
but i found that nice song heh.
after today, i told myself something.
I'M NOT GOING TO STAY AT HOME ONE WHOLE DAY DOING NOTHING ANYMORE!
i didn't even pack my table lor.
LOL!

but still, interclass tomorrow. YESSSS!
thinking if i should mahjong tonight though.

Day 55
my motivation for working so hard for the camp,
imissyou.

/Edit
EH PLEASE LAH.
THE RED SLIPPERS BROKE.
why are you sprouting nonsense all over, when you don't know a crap.
because if i had a choice,I'LL NEVER EVER THROW THAT PAIR OF SLIPPERS AWAY.
you know how important it meant to me,
SO STOP RUBBING IT IN SINCE YOU KNOW I'M ALREADY UPSET ABOUT THAT.
go on with your love life.
stop ranting to me.
i don't wanna know how you and him are.
if you say that you understand my situation now,
EVER THOUGHT OF HOW I FELT NOT?

home alone today.
mum and sis went out about noon.
it was super nice lah, sit at home resting my very tired hands and legs thanks to yesterday, blasting david tao's through the hi-fi. very pleasant, haha.

well, nothing much today. youtubed, relaxed, and i'm going out now.
out for dinner and movie with kamho and casper.
weird combination?
oh, expect the unexpected. thanks.

i wanna stay at home the whole day tomorrow to pack my room. IT IS HORRENDOUS.
then interclass on monday, yay! haha.
i can't wait to go back to school.

Day 55
i don't wanna close my eyes,
i don't wanna fall asleep.
cause i'll miss you baby,
and i don't wanna miss a thing.

okay.
results are back.

not gonna post all my individual results, just what's going to be shown on report book.

English B4
Chinese C6
A Math A2
E Math A1
Combined Science B3
Combined Humanities C5
Pure History C5

Overall score: 444/700
Overall Percentage: 63.4%
Class Position: 8/38
Level Position: 115/248

so people, stop asking.
i guess overall, i'm pretty impressed.
deproved in my science, but improvements in my humanities. yay!
there was training today.
wah, HUAH STUFF. super draining lor.
6 sets, each set plus skipping, push ups, running, jumps and more jumps. rawr, and it's going to be like that for a long long long period of time, just gotta get used to it.

INTERCLASS GAMES.
me, sheena, amal, sufyan, shijie one team --> B2!
won 3C.
B1 lost, but its alright! :D
second round for B2 on monday.
go 3b!
i'm beginning to really looooove 3b lah, like very homey already.

things to look forward to
badminton camp
badminton chalet
millipede splat bbq @ my place
class bbq @ ms thng's place
class chalet
class-clique outing
6s stayover
6s outing
shopping heh heh heh.
CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS.

don't know where to go tomorrow. hmm.
Day 54,
and proud of your results :D